Rock

My heart is hurting

I think I drank too much

It’s slowly sinking

I think my heart is turning into a rock

 

I wish I could shatter this rock

But then, I would have no heart

So I slowly let it weigh more and more

I think this is how it feels 

When the heart pulls you down deeper than your feet

 

Can I strive?

Do I have means to survive?

Thrive?

Or am I divi-ded

From all my glorious, archive

 

Hurt, sorrow

Pain, sterile

 

I know this feeling

And I want it gone

Gone

Gone…

I Will See

As I weep “it” seeps out

My soul, my cry, my countless courages
And infinitely greater sensation of disgraces
 
As I feel “it” screams out
 
My nights, my days, my shining mornings
And infinitely ever more silent moments in between
 
The far reaching forests that I have once seen
They were burnt down in tragedy
Remedy, they taught me
But I could only see what could have been
 
Then as I shed my tears like a water drunk in abundance
They were there to comfort me
You will see, they corrected me
But I could only feel the long lost precious chances
 
All I can do now is to wonder
 
My laughter, sighs, endless gazes
And infinitely louder waves of truths
 
All I will do is pray
 
My soul, lusts, never resting doubts
 
And infinitely soothing melodies
Here to stay
With me

Being “Mental”

So here is the problem.

The fact that people use the word “mental” as a mean to judge others,

often to release their own stress, is becoming more and more prominent.

Why is it so wrong?

I’ll say it.

 

Because we’re humans. And humans go through sh*t. 

When that (sh*t) happens, we get “mental” sometimes.

Even if that leads to a so called “disabling” condition.

 

I am speaking out today, for my own rights.

It goes something like this.

‘Hi everyone. I am an artist, quote-r, musician, photographer, and a human being.

I have gone through that thing (sh*t), and I am what you CALL “mental”.’

 

Long long ago I was a princess (not at all exactly), but in 2005,

from not sleeping nor eating and at that time

(now proudly overweight, and dare I say proudly because

if I were to become healthy I must be -comfortable- with

myself first and foremost), which I’d like to express not sleeping

further as 1 or 2 hours everyday, nor eating, as less than

2 yogurt cups literally, for a month, I collapsed.

BAM! On the floor! (A little literally, at the city college I used to attend to).

Then my long battle began. 

 

This is just an introduction to my sense of “mental”,

where I will keep on writing from time to time in this blog,

along with my original queens and kings aka photography,

art and quotes, but I hope you get the idea.

(With the sense of humor I’m *attempting* here).

 

The short conclusion of the moment.

 

‘There ain’t no “mental”! We just humans!’

(Sorry, ma black side came out)

(-Though not sorry for black culture)

(–It’s a beautiful culture)

(—Wait, this is getting long, this “-” usage thing)

(—–)